"We've been invited to a party Saturday. Want to go?" my boyfriend
asks me over dinner one night.
I like people. I like food. What's not to like about parties?
Lots, if you're in a wheelchair.
Many houses are not wheelchair-friendly. Often the main living areas
are upstairs, or worse yet, on multiple levels. I use a power chair most
of the time, but it is close to 150 pounds without me in it. So, when
stairs are involved, the power chair is not practical, and I use my
manual chair. The manual chair is lightweight, but I cannot propel
it myself. This means I must ask someone else to wheel me around, or
risk being trapped by an inebriated guest who wants to share
an eye-glazing description of his hockey stick collection.
This brings up the matter of escaping. When you're mobile, it's
relatively easy to track down whomever you came to the party with and to
whisper into their ear that it's time to leave—NOW. That's harder when
you have to wait for your friend / date / partner to wander within
viewing range—especially if your view is blocked by tall people,
coat racks, or potted palms. Developing a non-verbal signal is vital,
as hosts tend to be offended when you yell across the room "Geez ...
Aren't you ready to leave YET??"
But even if I can take my power chair, there's yet another factor
to consider. What type of party is it?
Some parties are great—sit-down dinners either at someone's home
or in a restaurant (a wheelchair accessible one, preferably). Or small
parties where there are sofas and chairs for people to sit on. But
then, there is the other kind—the dreaded B&B affairs. No, not Bed
& Breakfast.
Butts & Bellies.
These are stand-around-talking affairs, where people cluster in
groups, catching up on what's been happening in their lives, trading
news and jokes. When you're two feet shorter than everyone in the
group, it's hard to hear, and hard to be heard. Sometimes, it's hard
to be seen. And what you see from down here is not the same as the
typical eye-level view.
When you're sitting while all around you are standing, you don't
look soulfully into others' eyes—or at least not for long if you
value your neck. Instead, you end up looking at a lot of butts and
bellies. And believe me, most are not worthy of that much study.
Do I go to parties? Yes, I do. Do I enjoy them? Sometimes. If it
is one with places for people to sit, one where I can take my power
chair, I tend to enjoy myself more. But if it's a B&B affair, you
can be sure I'll be frantically signaling my partner that I'm ready
to go sooner rather than later.
Now maybe if it was a party of the Men's Gymnastics team ...
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